Joshua 1:9

joshua-19

Had another real talk conversation with my friend today. He asked me how I was. I said i’m okay.  I’m working home based and though i’m grateful with this blessing it’s clear that my earnings are not as big as compared to what I was earning in the past. He said I should forget my past glory and just think of this as a new start in a different field.

Try a different way. Maybe he’s right. I love my family but this is not about them anymore. I need to be selfish and think about myself. At least for the time being.

They may not know my ‘real status’ but I know they know that I am sick.The least thing I can do is not to be a burden to them. I may not earn much but I can earn to take care of my needs without sacrificing my health. At least for this season. This is better than nothing.

Sacrifices. The sacrifices I am doing to earn a little and living a very simple life is the price I am paying for my stupidity and lust. He said if I really want a new life I have to love myself…I have to start loving myself again. Love ko naman sarili ko ah. He said if I love myself I wouldn’t even thinking of hurting myself again. I was silent then tears just fall down.

Hoping for the best.

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