The Hangover

Dear Self,

My meet up with Jon Snow happened earlier than expected. I was free last night anyway so I thought of not prolonging my agony any longer. I was 30 minutes late due to the heavy traffic but he patiently waited for me. When I saw him sitting I was just staring at him and when he noticed my presence I couldn’t speak up and the only thing I did was gave him a two thumbs up sign 👍👍  and then gave a little smile.  It wasn’t our first meet up but whenever I am with him for some strange reason I always get cold feet. 

It was dinner time and our arrangement was he pays for our dinner and I pay for our drinks. So we had dinner at a pizza restaurant near his place. He asked me what I wanted to order, I was hungry for something else so I settled for a Ceasar Salad and Banana Split. There was a moment of silence when I was looking at his eyes and he was looking at mine. Masaya ako because nagkita ulit kami. “Kwento ka. Kamusta ka?” I told him. 

“Same. Nothing new. Work, Gym lang ako. Ikaw? Dun ka pa rin sa….”, he said.

“Saan? Sa dati pa din..”, I replied.

“Saang dati? Sa ***?”he said.

I didn’t want to talk about my personal life so I changed the topic. Good thing our order arrived and I started to eat my salad and he started eating his buffalo wings with no rice. 

We talked less during our dinner, not because I didn’t want to but I enjoyed looking at him enjoying his food. I had to break the ice before it gets boring so I started our conversation by talking about the food that we were eating. 

“Ang sarap ng veggies ano?”, me referring to the ceasar salad that we ordered. 

He looked at me like i’m being weird again and just nod. 😂

Obviously not a good ice breaker topic so I changed it. Since I remember he’s a license scuba diver I asked him about it. 

“Mahirap ba mag scuba? I’m curious about it.”

“Madali lang..”, he said.

“Ilang feet yung dagat kung san ka nag scuba? Do you really have to at least know how to swim before ka maging certified scuba diver?”, I asked.

“Do you know how to swim?”, his response. Smiling. 

“Yeah. hehehe.” That’s when I started laughing and smiling. Geez I was being weird again when I started laughing. I had to excuse myself infront of him.

“Sorry about that.”, I said.

“Why did you laugh?”,he asked.

“Nothing, I know how to swim pero konte lang.”,I said.

“I can swim a little as well so that’s fine.”, his answer.

“Alright.”,I said. 

“How’s your asthma? Inaatake ka pa din?”,he asked.

Showed him my inhaler. “Not as much as I used to but just in case.”, I replied.

“How’s your….?”,me looking at him

Surprised with my question. “What?, Wala ako sakit.”,he said.

“I know. Lol”

I’m used to eating my table food the fastest possible time so I managed to finish my ceasar salad right away while he on the other hand is like a lady who enjoys taking the time eating his buffalo wings. I’ve been observing how he eats his chicken, the way he dips it to the sauce and slowly bites then chews it into his mouth. 

I was starting to get too obvious so I took a bite of the banana split that I ordered and dipped it into the chocolate ice cream. The cherry taste so delicious that I offered him to taste it. 

“Spoon mo oh, taste the banana split. Ang sarap ng cherry.”, I said and then handed his spoon.

“Sarap ng ice cream, banana at cherry d ba?”, I said

“Mahilig ka sa ice cream?”, he asked

“Yep, last night naubos ko 750 Ml Chocolate with marshmallows na ice cream. 😂”, I said.

He didn’t respond and then started taking a bite of the banana dipped into the ice cream.

“Mahilig ka sa Banana?”, I said.

He looked at me with malice and smiled.”yeah.”

“What? Why are you giving me that smile and look I was just asking. What size of banana do you like?”, I asked.

“Yung binebenta sa 711.”,he said.

“I knew you were going to say that! LOL”

That’s when we started laughing and giggling. 

“Hey, really,  I want us to talk. Later.”, I said.

“Yeah, later.”,his short response.

The dinner alone was enough but I wanted more from Jon Snow, more of him and more of his time. So after dinner we went to a nearby shop to buy our drinks. I drink but i’m not good with Tequilla brands so I let him pick the best one. He obviously knows that the cheapest one doesn’t taste good so he picked the expensive one paid by me this time.

I know he was kidding when he said not to drink once we get to his place because he already started preparing the lemon, salt and the tequilla glass for our “serious talk.”

The Serious Talk.

So we started the “serious talk” while taking turns in drinking that tequilla shot. Geez, init ng lasa. Kahit may salt and lemon. I can still taste it inside me. 

I think after four shots I finally have the urge to tell him that I recall what happened on his bed, his doorstep, and on the kitchen sink. He was looking at me and said “yes. I remember everything.”

We talked about my adventures after we drifted apart last year and he showed me his adventure. I told him how proud I am of him. We started kissing. We were half way through the bottle when we started to get steamy..I wanna do it with him but the bottle is still not empty. So I was teasing him that we finish the bottle first before doing it. LOL.

I was drunk last night but I remember everything I said and those I said were the words I feel about him. I realized that last night was the sixth instance that we went out. But still nothing happened between us. 

This wasn’t my original plan. I was supposed to meet him next year after my birthday. But then this happpened.

What was I really trying to accomplish last night? Get him naked? Get his soul? I’d like to believe we got each other’s soul bare naked. I know every detail of him, the rough edges of his hands and his feet. His nose, his soft lips, his fair skin. I told him my head us heavy and I want something to drink perhaps a coffee. He got up and prepared me a cup of hot milo. I got up as well but I was staring at him..staring at his beautiful fair skin. I told myself, the moment I laid my eyes on you on that museum where we first met there was something about you. The moment your IDs fell when you were showing me your scuba license I knew you had something in me. That moment when we first kissed and staring at each other.  It was more than sex. That moment I had to bring you food at a bus station because you can’t get out of the lane because you were waiting for the bus, I knew we had something. That moment when we went out for a dinner and you decided to cancel our original plan I knew we had something. That moment when you organized a party and sing along at your friends place on our supposed meet up I knew there was something. That moment I had to gate crash your event because I wanted to see you so badly, yes of all the people that were there my eyes were locked to only one person and that is you. That moment when I usually had cold feet singing in front of many people but I wanted you to hear my song so badly so I sang and we even sang together. We both know it was something. I recall everything Jon Snow, every little detail about what we had, about you. The hot milo was good. Maybe because it was prepared by him and I badly needed one. We went back to bed after. 

We were too hungry to make out but we were too drunk to do it. Needless to say, we ended up finishing the bottle and cuddling and sleeping instead.

The best thing about that night was seeing him and the saddest was the last kiss and the very tight hug we gave at each other on his doortep. “Let me see you again..I wanna see you again.”, I uttered.

He didn’t respond but he hugged me tighter.

“Thank you. I will miss you.”, I said.

“Goodbye Amir.. goodbye”,he finally said.

I didn’t cry but my eyes were lonely. Part of me is happy that I saw him again and part of me is wanting to see and know more about him alone. I’m pretty sure we will meet again. I hope by then ready ka na for me. Next time we meet again I promise you that Amir is not just a little better but going to be bigger better. 

Hmm, dinner at a fancy pizza restaurant paid by him and expensive tequilla drink paid by me and an unforgettable night  If that wasn’t a romantic date then it must be just The Hangover.
Timestamp: 7/23/16 @ 17:26 PST

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