If I were to describe my July in one word it would be ecstatic. Too ecstatic that I got so dope without realizing that I am going into the wrong direction and emotion. Last night I didn’t go to work because I was feeling lethargic. To think that the day prior to that I made a decision to hike a mountain and I should be happy because not only I was able to hike the summit and witness the breathtaking view but I was able to tick off another bucketlist. Where did the energy go?
A friend was blunt enough to tell me last night that it isn’t going to work out. He even said i’m like a fan lining up to be with this person. Another friend gave me all the reasons not to. That was another wake up call.
Wag mo na kc ipilit Amir, kung hindi pwede, hindi pwede. How I wish natuturuan ang puso d ba? Corny but it’s true. Marami naman iba nagpaparamdam sau why force yourself to him if he doesn’t need your love. Geez, I can’t believe i’m saying all these things on my actual poz blog account. (Yeah, I am. This is my blog anyway, you’re just reading this so stop complaining.)
I guess they were all right about one thing without stating the obvious. Tanga ako kapag nagmahal. I have all the hundred reasons not to love you right in front of me and yet I still see your flat nose, and pasmadong kamay at paa and unproportioned body as your best asset. LOL 😂 See that. If you don’t feel special to me from the moment I laid my eyes on you on that museum last year then I wouldn’t wait this long and not waste my time blogging this feelings of mine.
Not yet, maybe, is the answer to my feelings for you. If there’s one person who really knows and who has the first hand experience of what I honestly feel that is you.
Thank you for giving me that smile, excitement and loneliness. I’m pretty sure years from now i’m going to read this blog and i’m gonna be laughing at this. I don’t hold the future if there’s going to be a You and I but I want you to be really happy. I mean it. It’s what we learn that really counts and it’s the journey that really matters at the end of all this. No ill feelings. “It was a privilige O.Z. to have my heart broken by you.”
Awww (My tone of voice), 😂😄
P.S. I’m listening to Secret Love Song while writing this blog because You are my secret love song. I’m pretty sure our paths will cross again in the near future.
Timestamp: July 26, 2016 @ 12 PM