I was too tired yesterday since I haven’t had enough sleep and rest because of me binge-watching the 8 episodes of Stranger Things, which by the way was a good TV series. I had fun watching the entire episodes and it was kinda refreshing to see Winona Ryder again. So, imagine me wasted the whole day for lack of rest. I could have just slept the entire night and call it a day but a very quick conversation with a poz brother that led to one conversation to another made me go out for a drink with him.
I don’t mean to be creepy or something but I kinda felt that I was being pushed by a force or something to go out and talk to this person. I was not in the mood to listen to loud EDM so he decided to just unwind and go to an acoustic bar and chill out. I arrived early and started drinking while waiting for him. I had 1 bucket of beer lol and he only had a bottle. Conversation was very casual, I asked him what his story was and he did asked pretty much the same questions. I think the setting was kinda uncanny because we had conversations about Bible verses and Christian life to think we were in a bar.
We decided not to order for another round, thinking we’re gonna call it a night he offered to have coffee probably so we could have a clear conversation since the bar started to get loud and noisy due to the people coming in. So we went to Starbucks and I ordered Hot Caramel Machiatto and he ordered Hot Chocolate.
During the whole night that I was with him I felt different. I think even before we decided to meet up I already felt that I needed to talk to this guy, like I had a duty as a Poz brother to talk to him and I kinda felt he needed to do the same thing for me. I learned 3 things from him last night:
1.) God is everywhere. God is so powerful that he will make His presence felt where ever you are. May you be on the streets, inside Starbucks having coffee or in a bar drinking beer. I felt God’s presence in him. It is hard to explain but you know that saying about meeting someone and either this person will teach you a lesson and/or you will teach him a lesson about life thing. That kind of feeling.
2.) During the course of our conversation about our life we talked about the differences between Luck, Blessed and Grace. Luck we were both clear that was out of the topic. Blessed on the other hand is more of like a Good Karma. You reap what you saw. So when you give kindness you get kindness in return. Of all the three he was able to refresh my memory about the power of God’s Grace. Grace on the other hand is when despite the bad things you have done to your life and eventhough you messed up big time you are still receiving blessings from God that you already feel you do not deserve any of this. That’s God’s grace. It hit me personally. Of all the blessings I am getting for the past 4 years that i’ve been living with HIV, part of me is saying “hey Amir you do not deserve this. You are not worthy.”
For him it was different. God’s grace was right in front of him but he is or was blinded by his pain. I felt his pain. There was a little regret. I maybe wrong here but that was the message I got from him. It is not my story to tell so I will keep it to myself. I hope I was able to talk him out of that pain probably not but I hope he did see a little light in my message. I was listening to him and though he didn’t shed a tear his eyes were speaking out loud of the loneliness and pain. Hey bro, I hope you open your heart, if you think you are not receiving God’s grace you are wrong. This extended life alone and the other things that we do not see are God’s grace. We don’t deserve this but here we are still breathing and we have to make the most out of this and be grateful to God. We are blessed and worthy of the good things. There are good things, sometimes we just have to flip the picture upside down for us to see it.
It was almost half past two in the morning when we decided to call it a day. I asked if I could hug him. We were laughing because it was kinda cheesy. I don’t know…. I just felt I wanted to hug him without malice. I thanked him for his time and company. We hugged and I gave him a pat on the back.
I knew God was there talking to me in him. I hope you also felt Him in me as much as I did brother. Hang on tight okay. Thank you for sharing your favorite Bible Verses to me.
I am ending this blog post by sharing my favorite Bible Verse. I was and still am holding to this up to now:
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
– Joshua 1:9 NIV
May the Grace of God be with you always Stephen + and yes You are born to survive this challenge! :)😇
Cheers to life!! 🍺🍻
Timestamp: August 28, 2016 | 7:00 AM PST