Mt. Maynoba

It feels great to kick start the year 2017 by doing what I love the most and by doing what makes me feel happy inside and out. Through hiking I get to challenge myself to push harder and harder because I know once I reach the summit the view is going to be sick and all the sweat is going to be all worth it. 

I feel grateful that I accomplished one hike this year. There will be more hiking and adventures that will happen this year. Thank You Lord for the strength. You gave me another chance to live my life so i’m making every second count. 

β›ΊπŸ‘£

– Amir

Year End Hike

Amir cannot end the year 2016 without doing what he loves the most and that is hiking! so he decided to go on a hiking getaway on the busiest time of the year LOL. He has many things to tell but some things are better left unsaid. All he can say is that “Life’s a climb but the view is great!” πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‡

Thank You 2016! I really had a great adventure of my life this year. For 2017 I am looking forward to your challenges and to our adventures, it’s gonna be rough and tougher climb but i’m rougher and tougher. πŸ˜‡πŸ˜ŠπŸ’₯



The Bigger Picture

It’s easy for me to complain about how twisted my life is but when I look at the bigger picture, four years of living with HIV isn’t all hell afterall. In fact for the last 12 months i’ve accomplished personal goals that I never imagined I would be able to do mostly on my own. If the places i’ve been to and the summits i’ve ascended does not ring a bell then the problem is me and not my situation. 

I am grateful for the strength that I have because despite my condition and weak lungs I managed to travel and witness such beautiful sceneries and ascend such great heights. 

For this I am truly grateful, no buts. I am thankful. Whatever is happening at the moment with my life, I am accountable of my own self. I cannot and should never rely my happiness and peace of mind to somebody else. πŸ˜‚, I just had a realization! There was a quick flashback of some of the low moments of my life this 2016 and those were the times I entrusted my happiness to somebody else.

Lately, I’ve been thinking what should I do to at least start turning my life 180 degrees when in fact it already started moving 180 degrees turn, It isn’t a perfect turn honestly, there are mishaps and I am learning.I just have to try and try again and never quit.  Nevertheless, I had a great year and I should be happy and look forward and be excited for the next years to come. πŸ˜‚

The Urge

Dear Lord,

Sometimes, it gets really tiring. I need your help. Please give me the strength that I need to resist the urge. Thank you for your love despite all my shortcomings. 

I am trying to fight the urge but I am just too weak to handle this. I need to overcome this before it’s too late and i’ll end up regretting putting my life to waste.
 
Amen. πŸ™

Missing It.Β 

I’ve been sober for several weeks now and I admit my body is missing alcohol. The thing about being poz is that you have to control your self and know your limits. I think this applies to everyone in general… But yeah, my body is missing it and wanting to go back to that place again and party all night so I was thinking of going out tonight. Part of me wants to go out but then part of me does not want to. My friend was right about me being discreet with my actions especially now that I am on medical leave. 

Since I am having seconds thoughts I think it would be wise not to go out and rest. Control yourself Amir.  Focus on what is important and what matters now. Whatever it is you are thinking it will happen soon but for the time being divert your attention to other useful stuff. 

Gotta get some sleep now. Good Night! 


Random Thoughts: Daydreaming IntimacyΒ 

If there’s one thing I miss, that would be ‘intimacy’. I miss being intimate with someone. I think I am getting used to singlehood but there are times I daydream of being intimate with just one person alone, often I daydream of hiking with him and  talking to him about anything under the sun. Often times I wonder what it’s like telling someone about my fears, worries, my thoughts and deepest desires.  

But when reality starts to kick in, I would realize that yeah, I’m just day dreaming and based on my track record it isn’t going to work out. Especially now…

Bahala na, there is a reason for everything so while he’s / she’s not yet here I will continue to daydream and I will continue to work on myself until I become a better version of myself.  

Good Night Intimacy.

– Amir

Nov 29, 2016/ 2:38 AM PST